舅舅给儿子讲什么是粗胚，修光，打磨，回来时他抱回一个拳头那么大的笑佛，还有一个筛谷子用的风柜，才手掌那么长，可是五脏俱全。当然他是不明白什么是风柜，我小时候在爷爷家这是很常见的。我告诉他，先抽打谷子，然后倒进去，疯狂转动把手，这时谷子的皮就从屁股后飞出来，肉就从前面的大嘴吐到桶里。
　　他笑了。好像觉得这很有意思。
　　日期：2008-9-14　0:24:48
　　失落如我
　　昨晚梦见他了，梦见和他缠绵。。或许他永远走不出我的记忆。。真正意义上开启我身体和心灵的男人。我已经不满足于以前那样的生活。不知道算不算一种幸运，还是不幸？如果从未见过他，现在该多知足？貌似什么都不缺了。想到他还是很纠结。。心里起起落落的。

　　想起他生病那段时间，我看他发烧很着急。就给奶奶打电话。我小时候生病，奶奶一直有个诡异的偏方。就是拿出一个碗，倒上水，放上两根筷子。如果筷子站立了，她就开始驱赶病魔。这个办法对我很奏效。也说不上是心理作用还是确有其事，我对这个持保留意见。。未知的太多了。她的办法都很奇怪。比如我眼睛长东西，她在我手指某个关节系一根黑色绳子。。不胜枚举。

　　有一次我儿子发烧，我给远在老家的奶奶打电话，她问了生辰八字就做了一次。当晚儿子烧就退了。后来又有一次，又奇迹般地退了。儿子几乎没去过医院。
　　于是我希望奶奶能治愈她。她问生辰八字，阴历的。。。我说不知道，她说怎么可能有人不知道阴历生日呢（她80岁了，以为全世界只有中国人罢），我说阳历是71.10.17。她说：阳历可能不准，神仙不认得。又问我名字。我傻眼了。。只好说，叫佛朗。。后来打电话她说：起先筷子站不住，后来好不容易站住了。做了一次。不知道效果怎样。

　　第二天还是很严重，陪他去医院看病。挂水。当晚回来稍退。我想肯定是失灵了，这一次奶奶也没有办法了。
　　我不是宣扬迷信，但是从小玩碟仙笔仙，加上一个无所不能的奶奶，总是难免有点宿命的感觉。
　　日期：2008-9-14 0:45:00
　　一道疤痕一道疤痕
　　昨晚有一次。。。我想努力投入，可是他还是急于跳过前奏。。。我也感到累了，不想屡屡要求又没有回应。。只求速战速决。。后来我就出来一个人上网，静静地戴耳塞听音乐。他在一旁嘿嘿笑着，说：老婆，发现你现在太喜欢上网了，连有没有高丨潮丨都不关心了。

　　之前有时候我主动要求，他不愿意用嘴，就用手敷衍一下。现在我也不勉强他了。
　　。。。。。。。。。。。
　　后来听见他们俩的鼾声。
　　我打开一首西班牙歌，很抒情柔和的。。想着他。。**了。。。我是不是无药可救了。事后很失落，抱着自己在躺椅上睡着。
　　日期：2008-9-14　11:06:26

　　刚才和他聊了一会儿，感觉好遥远。不在一个时空似的。
　　Frank: my rose happy moon festival. did u eat mooncake?
　　Lin: not tasty. i don’t really like it. why u online in early morning?
　　Frank: i think of u and i got up at 3.30am...smoking a while. i sent u some new pics, did u see that?
　　Lin: yes.. beautiful pics. ur daughter is very lovely.

　　Lin: where is ur wife...
　　Frank: she is invisable. she is no prettier than u dear
　　Lin: just curious
　　Lin: i like the blue sea
　　Frank: yeah..it is breath taking
　　Frank: isn’t it

　　Lin: yes..ur hometown.
　　Lin: i wish i can die in the sea
　　Lin: bury me with blue and cold water
　　Frank: hmmmmm
　　Frank: i saw some ppl just sat on the rocks and starred at the blue water...for hours. wonder what they r thinking
　　Frank: u saw the splash?
　　Lin: yes...very beautiful
　　Lin: like a poem

　　Lin: white spring and blue and the rock...endless sky and birds flying above...omg
　　Lin: who took it for u
　　Frank: her
　　Lin: where is she
　　Frank: i wish u were there with me

　　Frank: we jump into it. diving thru the deep inside with fishes and flowers and sea trees..
　　Lin: ur wife will kick me into the sea
　　Frank: i will follow u
　　grabbing u
　　use my body to save u
　　or die together.
　　Lin: nonsense. i don’t want u to die.

　　Frank: u know when i was driving around during that trip..i was thinking of u all the time
　　Frank: i wish u were sittingbeside me
　　Frank: i took u all over the places of Madrid.
　　Frank: show u around..to see the landscapes, the nature, the poems
　　Frank: cannot imagine how beautiful it will be if u were there

　　Frank: hello..r u there..my baby..i miss u every second, am i crazy???
　　Lin: yes..u r. i have to leave. they will be back. my parents my sister and son and hubby..we r not free, aren’t we? i need to cook some shrimp and vegetables.
　　Frank:remember i love you. be happy
　　日期：2008-9-15　1:01:57
　　Lin: but i don’t want to hurt ur wife, my son, ur baby...a lot of people

　　Lin: it’s so complicated
　　Lin: u know??
　　Frank: i know
　　Frank: i really want u Lin
　　Lin: want make love or marry me?

　　Frank: yes marry u
　　Frank: will u marry me?
　　Lin: it’s hard to answer...my son is all in my mind now.he is my sunshine.
　　Frank: Lin, you have been thinking about this alot?
　　Lin: no...
　　Lin: but if u tell me u never think of marrying me
　　Lin: i would feel u just palyed with me
　　Lin: cause marriage is the holy evidence

　　Frank: yes
　　Lin: maybe i only need to know
　　Lin: and prove it by ur mouth
　　Lin: that’s all
　　Frank: honey
　　Frank: have u been arguing with husband since he’s back?
　　Lin: not really..

　　Lin: we r like close relatives
　　Lin: he is like a brother of mine..
　　Lin: is ur wife a tough woman
　　Frank: no
　　Lin: does she love u
　　Frank: in some way i guess, but only for sake of the baby
　　Lin: then how can u leave her!
　　Frank: life is too short

　　Lin: responsibility is most important after married, u will face a lot of seduction
　　Lin: do u think u have been changing since u came to china?
　　Frank: nothing to do with china, but you.
　　Frank: u r lovely
　　Frank: truly

　　Lin: let’s be good friends
　　Frank: i dont want lose u
　　Lin: i am no special u will gradually know
　　Frank: u r very special
　　Lin: many women here want u
　　Lin: u can get whoever u want like a king as u said

　　Frank: no im not playboy i prefer loyal
　　Frank: u r so natural
　　Frank: so intelligent