志铭终于带着我给儿子买的一堆衣服，书和玩具回台湾了。我不知道为什么感到惆怅，虽然我不爱前夫，但是曾经也像亲人一样照顾过彼此，为了他不会煮饭做菜担心他吃的问题，爱德华还带着醋意地说干脆我每晚跑去给他做饭好了，话虽如此，我怎么会有实际行动真的去照顾他。他和我，如他自己所言，若不是为了儿子，他其实今生都不愿再见到我。我又何尝不是呢？我因为他是我挚爱骨肉的爸爸，不能也不愿报复他，伤害他，然而他却不曾领情，还是惩罚着我，不同意给我办理赴台签证或带孩子来上海见我，尽管离婚协议上白纸黑字写得非常清楚，每隔2到4个月，他会把孩子送来大陆给我看望。我打电话问候志铭爸爸，他居然对我说，要带保姆，要找保险公司保险，还要保镖，包括食住行，是否我愿意负担所有的费用呢？还说也许志铭把那套复婚前与我合买的房子卖了我就能有上百万——他忘记了还有8成20年的贷款吗？我不能相信孩子的爷爷居然这么无情说这番话来呛我，为何对一个自私冷漠的丈夫提出离婚的我应该得到这样的嘲弄和惩罚吗？

　　日期：2011-08-02　10:33:50
　　第十五章 甜蜜的情书
　　对着空空的床，我很想念爱德华充满柔情的眼睛，想念他结实的怀抱，虽然他很会吃醋，不过他有种安定我心情的力量，让我体会到什么是被爱。不知道他的情形如何，儿子的生日是否热闹欢乐。我打开电脑写了一封邮件给他（汗颜，那时候英文信写作水平很菜鸟）——
　　My darling Edward:
　　I am very happy to hear from you. Your email showed your love to me, I forget how far the distance is between China and USA.

　　我非常高兴收到你的信。你的来信展现了你对我的爱，让我忘记了中国和美国的距离是多么遥远。
　　You are a responsible man, I am very lucky to have met you, and you love me so deeply too. I understand your situation, it is hard to get divorced, so many things need to be arranged, please don’t worry about my life, I can buy clothes here for myself, you just focus on your business and family. I don’t want you have any pressure from me, please take care of yourself there for me, I need a healthy and strong happy man, my Greek man.

　　你是一个负责任的男人，我非常幸运能遇见你，你爱我如此深。我能体会你的处境，离婚很难，这么多事要处理，请不要担心我的生活。我会给我自己买衣服，你专心你的工作和家庭吧。我不想要你感到来自我的压力，请好好照顾自己，我想要一个健康强壮的男人，我的希腊男人。
　　I missed you the whole day, these days I can’t get used to staying alone, it is so quiet and empty, I miss you my dearest sweetest darling mou.我很想你，这些日子我无法习惯独自一人，如此安静和空荡荡。我想你，我最亲爱的甜蜜的人。
　　日期：2011-08-02　10:34:14
　　I don’t know how to help you get divorced but I will support you to make any decision to start the happy life with my love. I just worried before if she doesn’t want to divorce and she might be very mad and sad, even make you helpless and panic probably. You must be very calm and clear about everything that might happen. Don"t let the passion make you crazy or have a mad feeling, thus making a wrong or stupid decision.

　　我不知道如何帮你离婚，但我会用我的爱支持你做任何决定获得幸福。我担心她不想离婚，她也许非常生气和伤心，甚至那让你也无助和恐慌。你必须平静和理智面对将要发生的事情。不要让激情导致疯狂，而做出任何错误和愚蠢的决定。
　　I am also happy your kids will come to China at June so they can have a nice vacation with us. You love them like I love my son. I understand this deep emotion so don"t worry anytime you can fly to US or they can fly to Shanghai to meet us. And I hope they will accept me to be their friend. I will be very glad they call me aunty or mom if they don’t mind or SHE doesn’t mind.

　　我也为你的孩子能于6月到中国而开心，他们和我们会度过一个快乐假期的。你爱他们就像我爱我的儿子，我理解这种深情。不要担心，任何时候你都可以飞去美国而他们也能来上海互相见面。我希望他们能接受我作为他们的朋友，我也会很开心他们叫我阿姨或者妈妈，如果他们不介意，或者她不介意的话。
　　I worry about you facing this tough situation alone but I always pray for you and wish everything goes smoothly. I won"t care how much you give to her. I will never stop your love toward her as a sister or children"s mother. Do what you can to make things better with her without guilt.I worrymore about her madness or sadness because she doesn"t want to divorce rather than how much money she wants from you.You know she doesn"t love you but for sure she doesn"t want another woman to grab her husband even thought I didn"t try to grab you or destroy your happiness while you were married.In fact this marriage has not been that happy for you for years as you told me.

　　我很担心你，你面临这艰难处境，但我会为你祈祷，希望所有事情顺利。别以为我会担心你给她多少物质，我永不会阻拦你爱她如妹妹，孩子母亲，做你所能做的，使你自己感到不难受，我更担心她的疯狂和伤心会让她不想离婚，多过担心她要求多少钱。你知道即使她不爱你，但是她也不会想要任何女人夺走她丈夫，虽然我并没有试图夺走你或毁灭你们的幸福。然而如你所言事实上你们的婚姻早已不幸福。

　　Anyhow I love you my darling Edward for many years I was in pain too. I was so sad I couldn"t find real love. You gave me the reason to live strongly and happily in this world. I wish you never give in to the tough situation or any misunderstanding between us. I only want a wonderful, romantic, happy, and warm feeling to fill our hearts. 我爱你，爱德华，我也曾痛苦。我也曾难受不能拥有真爱。你给我坚强快乐生活在这人世的理由。我希望你不放弃艰难处境，不屈服于我们之间的误解。我要浪漫美好温暖的感觉填充你我的心。

　　I will be your air that freshens your heart. I will be your sunshine that brightens your eyes. I will be your breeze that clears your mind. I will be your moonlight that soothes your loneliness. I will be your oasis to comfort your exhaustion. I will be your faith that motivates your decision. Please be strong and wise. I am here waiting for you and will greet you with my warm and tight embrace when you return. 我要做新鲜空气涤净你的心，我要做你的阳光照亮你的眼睛，我要做微风清醒你的头脑，我要做你的月光抚平你的孤寂，我要做你的绿洲安慰你的疲惫，我要做你的信仰振奋你的决心。请你坚强和智慧，我在这里等你，迎接你，用我的温暖和紧紧的拥抱。

　　Sleep well tonight, kisses...
　　好梦，吻你……
　　Love forever,
　　Angel
　　永远爱你的安琪

　　日期：2011-08-02　10:35:07