妈妈在那头哭了。我很难过。真的不想让她失望。尤其不能设想她怎样误解我，想象我的堕落。事情不是这样的，可是在外人眼里，总是一样的。
　　日期：2008-8-29　11:27:38
　　一个人静下来的时候，就想他的微笑，为什么眼神那么让人沉醉，就像在眼前展开了一个花园，里面有鸟语花香，他笑的时候竟然和我一样有两个酒窝。难怪他说我们很相称，100%相称，连酒窝都能对上号，呵呵。他邀请哥哥过来玩，我们一起吃晚饭，他哥哥竟然有191，好高。。比他高了四厘米。我姐姐也是比我高4厘米。我不知道是不是巧合，我有神秘主义倾向，可能倪匡，还有日本悬疑故事读太多了。。。

　　我问他要钱那次。
　　我对绝望的他说：你来吧。他就抱住我吻我，被我用手推开了。他一脸困惑，我说：没时间了。我马上就走。你开始吧。
　　他把我抱在桌子上，跪下来，卷下我的nk,正准备吻。。我用手挡在中间，说：去拿套套。
　　他的眼神在询问我，我忽略。他用眼神问我：难道就这样开始吗？
　　于是就仓促地ml,其间他可能心理状态不好，觉得不开心，竟然几次疲软没办法继续。。。我看见他很着急地用手让自己继续坚强起来，好继续满足我。当时他一定不想继续了，那种做法不是他的风格。可是还是撑下来了。

　　最后问他要钱，他质疑的眼神。
　　现在都留在我脑海。让我想落泪。我能感觉到他是真的在乎我的感受。
　　日期：2008-8-30　11:19:57
　　刚才线上碰到他，他一个人在家，妹妹被我赶到菜场了。赫赫。我们聊了会儿，他竟然教我怎么对付男人。介人还真无私真坦白的。不过他说的很实用，很实在，男人和女人永远在作战呀。。挺奇怪，我们也坚持下来，几天没见面了。希望真的能成为朋友，不想失去这么好的男人。。。
　　frank: still there?

　　lin: back
　　frank:dear welcome back. i know how u feel
　　lin: no i don’t hate you
　　frank: i know
　　i am normal, you make me insane

　　i know u are struggling now
　　if failed u would out of control
　　lin: i want to go
　　frank: please stay, we can talk honestly. imagine we meetand quarrel and u hit me like wildly and make violent love
　　lin: it’s over. we r over. i won’t let you get me

　　never........i want you be sad
　　frank: u r torturing me and make me want u crazy
　　then i will fall into u completely
　　and divorce my wife
　　frank: u still want me?
　　lin: no

　　lin: i told u it’s over
　　frank: i know u are still attached mentally and physically. do you want me tocome and pick u up? i am drunk
　　lin: don’t drink too much wine! if u come, u will get car accident!
　　frank: i know u feel on the edge now
　　u are almost falling over the cliff mentally

　　poor babe
　　u make my heart bleed for u
　　i know that there are two emilies are fighting inside you now
　　one wants to go, another one wants to stay
　　lin: why u r bleeding

　　frank: because i have the pain u have
　　frank: u make me wonder, make me wait, feel anxious, sad and feel more and more about u
　　torturing me
　　torturing my desires
　　so, either i will collapse and give up on u or i will fall completely to u
　　and then u will win

　　the more i wait, the more passionate i will become
　　frank: for you the best thing is to be silent say nothing.
　　lin: i don’t want to marry u, i want nothing from you
　　frank: complete win is to completely control me
　　u have the control on me

　　not i controling u
　　lin:in ur opinion relationship is like a war?
　　frank: it’s a game
　　drain me
　　exhaust me

　　and then i will know ur power
　　dont’ give to me now
　　make me exhausted
　　it’s like cat and mice
　　give me a bit, then hang me

　　then give a bit more
　　then hide
　　tease me
　　don’t let me catch u
　　in that way, u can play with me
　　frank: if i am tired of the game. ... then let it go
　　u got nothing to lose
　　frank: if i want u more and more and never give up, that means i really really love u, and then u can make a deal and open all your deck of cards
　　tell me what u want, i will offer you everything i can.
　　it’s a game, and yet it’s a TEST OF LOVE also
　　lin: wow. have you read the art of war (孙子兵法)

　　兵者，诡道也 All warfare is based on deception
　　知己知彼 百战百胜 If you know yourself and know others you will win a hundred times in a hundred battles.
　　frank: yes i love this book which is full of wisdom. life is cruel
　　u want nothing from me?
　　at least u have to think that way my baby.
　　frank: otherwise, u cannot win the game

　　lin: wow. u r selfless, hehe
　　frank: u see..this is how u set up yourself
　　this is woman’s power
　　this is what makes woman different than man u got to know how to use it
　　frank: because man is dominating the world, but man has it’s own weakness

　　this is man’s soft ribs
　　if u know how to use this power, u then can survive the man’s world
　　lin: don’t u afraid that i would use it on u?
　　frank: hehe..come over..
　　i love to play with u
　　it’s very exciting
　　lin:i am not in the mood haha
　　frank: u know that’s why man love games...love racing, love advantures..

　　lin: yep
　　frank: love being challenged, if a woman makes him lose interests, he lost the challenge
　　frank: man loves to show off being strong
　　it’s man’s nature
　　u need to learn man

　　in order to gain access to man
　　in order to gain confidence
　　frank: in order to live more freely and confidently
　　don’t be afraid of man
　　so, now u know even better how to deal with man
　　even u know how to deal with ur husband
　　lin: thanks...
　　frank: make HIM to be a victim, not u

　　u have to be urself
　　live happily
　　that’s how to get urself strong
　　that’s the only way
　　that’s the secret
　　lin: u r so nice...

　　frank: i amcrazy about you is not that only because of desire, because i am weak mentally in front of you.
　　i amso lonely when u leave